Like A Prayer
by Korderoo
Summary: AU: Based on a Tumblr prompt. Regina is living as a nun in a convent. When Emma meets her in the church, Regina begins to question her beliefs. Swan Queen.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This story is based on an anon prompt on Tumblr for an AU story in which Regina is a nun and Emma meets her in church and corrupts her. I think it was meant to be a one-shot prompt, but I really loved it and wanted to make it a multi-chapter fic. I hope you'll enjoy. **** Thanks as always to my friend and beta-reader, **_**Hunnyfresh**_** for her support and guidance.**

**T/W: There is some angry physical contact in this chapter – nothing worse than what has been depicted on the show. **

**This story in general will also obviously take place in a church/convent so if that offends you, please be warned.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Once Upon a Time, the characters, or Madonna's song "Like A Prayer". I am merely using them for entertainment with no profit derived.**

**Like A Prayer**

Emma's body would not stop trembling as she pressed the bundle closer to her chest and peered around the corner. Whether it was hunger or exhaustion, she felt her knee start to give out and snapped it straight, cradling the blanket against her and closing her eyes a moment to gather her strength. When last she looked, there had been a group of children in matching uniforms nearing the steps of the church. Counting to twenty before she eased her head out of the mouth of the alley again, Emma blew futilely at the dirty blond hair plastered to her forehead. When she looked again, the sidewalk was clear. Emma drew in a deep breath and darted out, sprinting to the steps and kneeling down behind the stone fence at the top of the stairs.

Hidden from view again, she loosened her grip and allowed herself to look – just for a moment. She wanted to remember his face. She'd always thought that Sister Mary Margaret was crazy when she told people at their newborn's baptism how much they looked like their parents. Emma, who frequently assisted with preparing the baptismal font, personally felt that they looked like weird little alien things. Father David, pastor of St. Francis of Assisi parish had spit out his coffee when Emma told him that and urged her not to tell Sister Mary Margaret.

But now, as she took in his tuft of unruly brown hair, she couldn't see him as anyone's son but Neal's. When she looked at the adorable dimple in his chin, she saw her own face. She was longing to see his eyes one more time, but not at the chance of being caught if he cried. When a tear splashed onto his face, she realized she was crying. She drew a shuddering breath and kissed his forehead whispering "I love you" before setting him down in front of the door and quickly turning away.

She sprinted toward the street, her face twisted in agony as she sobbed for her baby boy. For blocks she ran without any thought until finally her leg gave out and she crashed to the ground, feeling utter despair as her eyes fluttered closed and darkness fell.

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As the lid snapped shut on her trunk, Regina felt as though she had locked away her hopes for the future and her belief in happy endings. What remained before her was only duty. She would fulfill the role set for her by her mentor at her father's urging. She would bury her heart as she had buried her love and move forward to seek a higher purpose – a calling.

She looked around the room that had been hers since she was too young to remember another home. This was the home she and her father, Henry, had come to after her mother had passed away. It was, much as her father was, sufficient but uninspiring. She loved her father but she knew that her chance for a future lay outside his home. To his credit, so did he.

His fear that she would grow up without the positive guidance of a mother pushed him to move her to the suburbs and enroll her in The Ursuline Academy for girls. Henry felt that the school's excellent reputation would propel her toward future success. Regina thrived in school and won awards for her academic and extracurricular careers in equal measure. By the time she entered junior high, she was regarded as the most promising student in the academy. She was so talented that she caught the eye of the principal of the school and Mother Superior of the convent, Sister Cora.

It was little secret within the parish that Sister Cora aspired to gain a powerful role within the church. Her drive made her the natural ally of the equally ambitious pastor of St. Urusula parish, Father Robert Gold. His stature was such that despite convention, he insisted that his parishioners call him Father Gold rather than Father Robert. After an introduction from Sister Cora, Father Gold began to privately tutor Regina. He introduced her to Machiavelli and extensive history lessons. He insisted that she be trained in etiquette and grace by Sister Cora while he taught her politics and business strategy.

By the time she was seventeen, Regina was president of the student government, represented The Ursuline Academy in debate, and was captain of the varsity swim team. When she participated in service at the local soup kitchen to improve her college applications, Regina and her friend Kathryn met some boys from Saint Eligius, Frederick and Daniel.

In an instant, Regina had been hopelessly in love with Daniel's boyish charm and steady good-natured personality. She had begun to meet him secretly after school when she was given leave to go to the library. They shared whispered conversations about their childhoods. Daniel's mother had died when he was young, too. When Regina spoke of her mother and began to cry, Daniel held her and told her she would be ok.

Regina could picture it so clearly now. She had pulled back from him, just enough to see his face and he leaned in to kiss the tears off her cheek. He murmured that he knew it sounded stupid, but that he loved her. He said that if she would let him, he would ensure that she was never alone again. He told her that he would belong to her and she to him and together they would be unstoppable. His face glowed with a light that Regina found it impossible to look away from. His eyes danced as he took her hands in his and said that his heart was hers for the taking. Regina was mesmerized, her heart pounding as she looked down to see Daniel's lips wet with her own tears. She tilted her head, keeping her eyes on his lips as she slowly leaned forward. She felt his breath against her lips just before…

"Regina!"

Regina's heart plummeted and she jumped away from Daniel as though shocked.

"Yes, Mother Superior."

"Did you think I wouldn't know that you were not in your study session today?"

"No, Mother Superior." Regina stared at her shoes.

"Excuse me, Mother Superior," Daniel said. Regina's eyes widened at his voice but she continued to stare at the ground as he continued, "It's my fault that Regina missed her study session. I'm sorry. She was helping me to…uh…to practice my Latin. I know she just won the all-district competition."

"This year. But if she continues to miss study sessions as she has the past three weeks, presumably," she looked Daniel up and down with a sneer, "Helping an academically challenged boy, she will not win next year. Please do not waste any more of her time, or yours," she leaned into him until their noses nearly met, "You are nothing more than a service project."

Cruel fingers coiled around Regina's wrist and pulled her away from Daniel, who looked shocked and angry when Regina snuck a peek behind her before Sister Cora pushed her through the door and locked it behind her.

"You are so generous, Regina, sharing your time with that unfortunate boy. No doubt that he could learn much from you," Cora's voice dripped with sweetness, contrasting with the crescent-shaped indentation her fingernails were making in Regina's wrist.

"Mother Superior, I…" Regina shook her head frantically, tears threatening to escape her eyes.

"Sadly, there is nothing to be gained for you in associating with him. Therefore, I forbid you to see that boy again."

"But Mother Superior, I…" Regina's voice cracked as she stammered helplessly.

"I forbid it Regina," the nails broke Regina's skin and she whimpered before succumbing to tears at last.

"Yes, Mother Superior."

Finally, her grip relented and Regina cradled her smarting wrist in her other arm and sobbed quietly. Cora tutted and pulled Regina close to her in a loose and cold-feeling hug. She patted Regina's back awkwardly as she muttered, "There, there." After a moment she pushed Regina away and said, "Haven't I always cared for you Regina? Haven't I always supported you being your best?"

Regina looked into the face of the only mother she'd ever truly known and nodded, her sobs continuing. Sister Cora grew impatient with her tears and pushed her back saying, "Go and wash your face before your tutoring session, you know how Father Gold hates to see tears," before turning and walking briskly away.

Regina's eyes slammed shut as she had her trunk a moment ago and shook her head to clear away the memory. When she opened her eyes, she looked down to see that she was cradling her wrist just as she had that day when her decision to let Daniel meet her on the school grounds instead of at the nearby stable meant that Sister Cora had caught them together.

Four days later, he was dead.

She heard when the school was called to the auditorium for an assembly and Sister Cora took the stage. She stared at Regina as she described Daniel's death – apparently the result of a toxic combination of prescription medications. Regina was unable to feel. She simply stared back. Although she would cry later, at home, Regina remembered Cora's words as Father Gold led the school in a prayer for Daniel's poor, misguided soul to find peace and held back the tears he'd hate to see.

Regina swiped angrily at the tear on her cheek now – she'd come to see tears as a sign of weakness and a symbol of the childhood she was leaving behind. She hoisted her backpack onto her shoulders and pulled her trunk downstairs behind her. She was leaving her father's house to join Sister Cora at the convent. She was to become a novitiate as soon as she turned eighteen and to begin the process of devoting her life to the church.

Her father met her with a sad smile at the foot of the stairs. He looked poised to ask her once again if she was sure she had made the right decision. A part of Regina screamed that she had never been so unsure of any decision. As it welled up in her throat to be expelled, Regina closed her eyes and shoved it back down. Her doubts were only born of her fear to move forward from childhood. That is what Sister Cora had told her and hadn't she always looked out for Regina?

Pulling out her etiquette training she gave her father a winning, artificial smile and said, "I'm ready."

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When Emma's eyes opened, she held up her arm in front of her face to block the light. She took a few minutes to gather her bearings. How had she ended up here? Clearly from the antiseptic smell and painfully bright florescent lights she was in a hospital. Emma felt panic bubbling up within her at the thought that if the doctor examined her thoroughly, he or she would realize that she had just given birth. The last thing she needed was for Father David and Sister Mary Margaret to find out what she had done. She regarded herself and found that there was an IV pushing clear fluids into her and her hospital bracelet said "Jane Doe". Sighing in relief that at least for the present nobody knew who she was, she looked to see how she could unhook her IV. She needed to get out of here before the nurse or someone came back.

Before she could figure it out, a doctor walked into the room.

"Look who's awake. I'm Doctor Whale. Care to tell me what happened?"

"I'm…uh…not sure. Passed out. I must have missed lunch or something. But I really should go now."

The doctor examined her chart for a moment before nodding with a frown, "Your vitals look good. You are dehydrated and it looks like you could use a decent meal, but you seem healthy otherwise.

"Yep. Fit as a fiddle. I better just go. You probably need the bed."

Doctor Whale just looked at her a moment before leaning closer and saying, "Ok, Miss. I am going to release you. But before you go, please just eat a tray for me. I ordered you a grilled cheese. After that, you can go anywhere you like."

Emma knew that his words were meant to be light but at hearing him say that she could go anywhere she felt a surge of freedom she had never known before. Her childhood had been great, but she had always longed to become better acquainted with the world. Running away with Neal had seemed like an adventure, but it had taken her instead into living in dangerous situations and seeing only the suffering and despair in the world.

When he had suggested that they rob a convenience store and use the cash to get to Disneyland so she could play a princess and support them, she had agreed. He told her that they would always be together. But when the shop owner pulled out a rifle, Neal had run. He had left Emma there to be arrested and sent to a juvenile detention facility. It was there that she learned she was pregnant.

Despite the crushing loneliness of the place, Emma never called Father David and Sister Mary Margaret. She knew they had looked for her for a while when she first ran away, but that they had stopped months ago. She refused to allow them to see her like this. They were heroes to her and the only parents she'd ever known.

When the time came for her to leave the detention center, she was sent to a group home. It only took a week of whiskey fueled fury raining down on her for her to leave, taking to the street once more. She used the survival skills Neal taught her to make it on her own, sleeping in the train station or one night in the atrium of an apartment building. She stole enough food to survive and a bottle of multivitamins for the baby. She knew that a doctor would probably give her something different, but she figured it was better than nothing.

She gave birth alone in an abandoned car near the train tracks. She was terrified that he would be disfigured or sick but as far as she could tell, the boy was born whole and healthy. She wrapped him in her own baby blanket and made her way resolutely across town. Her own upbringing at St. Francis had been such a happy one. She knew she was in no position to care for him, but the sisters would.

But she could not leave him for Father David and Sister Mary Margaret to find. She saw her face and Neal's when she looked at him. Father David and Sister Mary Margaret would see them, too - she was sure of it. Instead, she cooed to him softly as they walked across town toward St. Ursula.

And now that he was safely delivered, she was free. Emma looked up at the doctor with a dazzling smile and said, "Can I get fries with that?"

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As Regina climbed the steps to the church, her father carrying her trunk behind her, she felt each step as though it was a door slamming shut. Her dream of a prestigious career – slam. Her dream of a home of her own – slam. A dream of a marriage filled with true love – slam. Her hope for children –

Just as she raised her foot to ascend the top step she saw it. A bundle of blankets near the door to the church. She froze. She looked around the street but saw only her father. She bent down, pushed back the blanket and gasped. Looking up at her was a beautiful newborn baby. A look of wonder blossomed over her face as he smiled and blinked up at her. In an instant, she fell in love as she lifted the boy into her arms and he laid his head directly above her heart. She turned and beckoned to her father before proceeding inside cradling the boy she'd come to love as her own.

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed – please review and let me know what you think. **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Please accept my apologies for the severe tardiness of this chapter, dear readers. It was difficult this summer to find the time and motivation to give this the attention it deserves. With Fall setting in, I am settling down to spend more time writing! **

**Thank you very much to everyone who has followed/favorited and reviewed so far. I've gotten so many kind messages recently that truly encouraged me to pick this back up. **

**This chapter is un-betaed, so please forgive any mistakes.**

"Henry, dear. It's almost time for dinner. Please put your things away and go get cleaned up."

The messy-haired five-year-old sighed heavily as he tucked his crayons and coloring book inside his desk. He hated dinnertime – it was the one time of day he was required to sit quietly and not ask any questions while Sister Cora and Father Gold talked about church matters and quizzed Regina about her studies. It was also the only time of day that Regina acted as though he meant nothing to her. Although she was always firm, when it was just the two of them she showed him affection in the way he imagined a mother would. He scowled as he left the room to wash his hands and face.

Regina cringed as he stomped down the hallway to the boy's bathroom and slammed the door shut behind her. If Sister Cora had heard, she would certainly make comments again about taking in filth off the street and how this boy was holding Regina back. In a way, Regina could acknowledge that the boy divided her attention from her studies. But he was also the only thing in her life that was truly hers and she was loath to give that up. Sister Cora told her that she would never progress to being Mother Superior one day with a foundling hanging on her skirts. Regina held no such doubt, however. She fully intended to surpass Sister Cora in both power and prestige.

As Henry returned now, his bottom lip jutted out in a pout that made Regina's lips twitch mirthfully. She knelt in front of him and straightened out his little tie before stroking his cheek with her thumb.

"Chin up, dear. We're having chicken for dinner. I know you love the drumsticks."

"But I'm not allowed to talk or anything."

"I know." She looked him straight in the eye with a somber expression as she said, "Do you remember what I told you about your super power? When you sit quietly, you're able to learn about others. Observe what people do. Then you get to know what they want."

"But I already know what they want. They want to take over the world."

Regina chuckled, "Not the whole world. They just want to be leaders in the church. They are intelligent and cunning and they want to use their abilities to help guide the rest of the church. That's not so bad, right?"

Henry merely shrugged at her doubtfully before sighing heavily and saying, "Are there at least mashed potatoes?"

Regina winked and said, "Let's go find out."

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Emma reclined on the filthy cot in her cell ruing the moment that she decided to return to this city. Who knew that the police could issue a bench warrant over stupid parking tickets? She had only been back in the city six months and already she was in the same trouble she had tried to leave behind five years ago. She threw her hand over her eye as she sighed heavily.

The heavy clanking of her cell door sliding open caused her to bolt upright moments later. Her eyes widened when she realized that behind the portly guard who had shoved her in hours earlier stood Father David, his kind face beaming at her, despite the circumstances.

"Father David. I…what are you doing here?" Emma was flooded with horror. After all these years – millions of fantasies of seeing Father David and Sister Mary Margaret again and seeing them shining with pride – and instead she's landed in jail. Again.

"I'm bailing you out. I've spoken to the district attorney and he agreed that you did not need to spend even one night in jail if you met a few conditions. Isn't this wonderful?"

"But I…how did you even know I was here? I haven't seen you for years. Not since…"

"I know. But Sister Astrid participates in an outreach program and she recognized your name on the roster. I'm so happy to see you."

"Yeah, I…me too. But hold up. You said conditions. What conditions?"

"You have to come back home to live with us." His continued to beam although a crimson flush was rising up his throat.

"And…"

"And you have to do community service."

Emma groaned as she said, "I don't have time for that. I work like all the time."

Father David merely shrugged.

Emma sighed and stood. "I'm sorry, Father. I know that you went out of your way for me and I'm being childish. Of course, I will do whatever you think is best. It really is good to see you." She stepped forward and hugged him. He cleared his throat awkwardly but his wide smile was back and he squeezed her tightly for a moment before letting her go.

"Well, we'd better be going."

Emma nodded and picked up her red leather jacket from the cot before following him out into the sunlight.

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"Regina?" Henry was freshly bathed and in his flannel pajamas as he climbed into bed.

"Yes, Henry?"

"Am I a charity case?"

Regina bristled abruptly. Had Henry been listening to her post-dinner conversation with the Mother Superior? He had spilled his milk at dinner onto Father Gold's lap. The priest had been incensed and furiously stormed from the room. Sister Cora had told him sternly he'd clearly had quite enough to eat and sent him up to take a bath. Regina knew that he sometimes listened around corners, but she would hate for him to have heard the litany of horrible names Sister Cora had called him.

"Why would you think that, Henry?"

"Tommy St. James said that nobody loves me and that you only care for me because it's your Christian duty. He said that even my mommy couldn't love someone like me and that's why she abandoned me."

Regina's heart broke in an instant. Henry was so matter-of-fact in the way he asked it. His solemnity told her that he believed it to be true. He looked down fearfully for a moment and then raised his chin defiantly.

"I told him that God loves me so much that he wanted me to live with him."

Regina barely stifled a relieved chuckle despite the rage still coiling hot and sick at that little ingrate Tommy St. James. Despite not having given birth to the boy, his haughtily lifted nose and stubborn resilience made her feel that he was as much her son as if she had given birth to him.

"That is very true, my sweet boy. And do you want to know a secret?"

Henry nodded eagerly.

Regina leaned in close, cupping her hand around his little ear and whispered, "I love you, too."

He leapt into her lap and wrapped his arms tightly around her neck. She could not see his face, but she felt a hot tear splash against her neck and knew that despite his calm demeanor he had truly feared that he was unwanted. She tightened her arms around him and rocked him a bit, cooing softly as he silently sobbed.

"I wish you were my mommy."

Her eyes clenched painfully as a tear squeezed between her lashes and coasted down her cheek. "Oh so do I, my sweet boy. So do I."

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Returning home was even harder than Emma had feared it would be. She had imagined herself returning in a blaze of glory to donate thousands of dollars to the struggling convent and make Father David and Sister Mary Margaret proud. Instead she returned smelling like stale cigarettes and the disgusting mattress from her jail cell.

Emma had always known she didn't belong here. These people were so thoroughly _good._ She herself could not help feeling hopelessly flawed in comparison. When she was no more than a month old, Father David and Sister Mary Margaret had taken her in. They had taken the orphans from their parish group home to the park for a picnic and it was there, on a hike, one of the children stumbled across her lying beside the road wrapped in a blanket. They had taken her home and given her love and despite her best efforts to be worthy of their pride, she found herself getting into scrapes from an early age.

When she was four she had decided to adopt the baby out of the nativity scene and when the child playing the Virgin Mary had tried to pull baby Jesus away, Emma stomped on her foot and ran away, baby dangling from her pudgy fist. At age six she had punched an altar boy in the mouth during mass because he said she looked like a homeless angel with her ratty sneakers sticking out from under her robe as she sat behind Father David. At ten she had taken Sister Mary Margaret's prized canary out of his cage to pet it and gotten distracted by a television show. She didn't realize the bird was gone until she saw the bright yellow feather on the side of Lucifer's (the cat ironically named by Emma's best friend Ruby) mouth.

Father David and Sister Mary Margaret had always been extremely patient, displaying disappointment rather than anger. While Emma understood that their intentions were good, this response only deepened her own feelings of being ill-deserving of the support they so freely offered. She found them infuriatingly perfect by the time she was a teenager and felt stifled by their expectations for her, although they never expressed anything but love.

Emma wondered as she entered her teen years about the parents who had so callously left her behind. Surely they must have seen that something was wrong with her from the start. If she was so inherently flawed she just knew she had to get out and find some people more like her.

Ruby was great and definitely enjoyed getting into hijinks with Emma. Her grandmother cooked for the convent and they both lived there with Emma and the sisters. But Ruby worshiped Sister Mary Margaret. She could never understand Emma's feeling of being weighed down by the example set by the perfect pastor and saintly sister who raised her.

So when Emma met Neal, a teenager making use of the parish's soup kitchen, she was swept away by the exhilaration of finally knowing someone who truly saw her, flaws and all, and liked her for who she was. Emma reveled in feeling secure enough to explore the world outside of her closeted convent life. They climbed to the roof of the high school to drink beer and smoke cigarettes. They crashed weddings and funerals alike.

When Sister Mary Margaret caught Emma sneaking into her room with him one night, reeking of liquor, she finally put a stop to it. She told Neal to leave and not to come back. And for the first time ever, Emma had truly fought the parental figures she had so long admired and so deeply resented.

That night after lights out, she climbed onto the fire escape outside her bedroom window and she had not returned.

Upon returning this afternoon, Sister Mary Margaret had wept and pulled her into a hug saying that she had always known Emma would return to them. Emma had enjoyed the embrace for a moment, but in her stomach, the same wormy, wiggling feeling of disquiet came back that told her she still did not belong here.

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"Henry, darling, it's time to get up. You must get to school."

Henry grumbled and pulled the blanket over his head. Regina chuckled as she pulled it down and peppered his face with kisses until he giggled and wrapped his arms around her neck allowing her to pick him up and hug him close before setting him down and gently nudging him toward his dresser. He sleepily stumbled forward as Regina straightened out his sheets and left him to dress.

When she left his room and returned to her own to finish preparing for the day, Sister Cora was seated on her bed. "Waking the whelp, dear?"

Regina's spine stiffened as she walked in and tightened the belt of her robe around her and said pointedly, "Henry is getting ready for school. Something I can do for you, Mother Superior?" Regina was normally fairly obedient, but the boy's tears last night were still fresh in her mind this morning.

"Yes, dear. We have been requested by the archdiocese to increase our charitable activity. It seems that taking in strays off the street does not qualify as adequate community service." Regina slammed her closet shut, having pulled out the modest dress she had chosen for the day but Sister Cora paid no mind. "If Father Gold has a chance to become bishop next year, we must become more actively charitable. You are to organize these programs. We will operate a food pantry, a clothing bank, and an after-school tutoring program. You will recruit volunteers, oversee the programs, and see that Father Gold gets the full credit for his visionary leadership. Are we clear?"

"Yes, Mother Superior."

"Good. Then I suggest you begin by contacting that dimwit Sister Mary Margaret at St. Francis. If anyone were to know the ins and outs of this sort of nonsense, it would be that idiot."

"Yes, Mother Superior."

Sister Cora stood and strode to the door before turning and saying in a sickly sweet voice, "Oh and Regina, dear? See that Father Gold's outfit from last night gets laundered. Perhaps you could have the urchin take care of it if he's not too busy begging for table scraps."

Regina gnashed her teeth together briefly before expertly schooling her expression to one of indifference and repeating, "Yes, Mother Superior."

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"So what have you been up to, Emma?"

Emma reluctantly lowered the grilled cheese she had been about to bite back to her plate and cleared her throat, carefully avoiding Sister Mary Margaret's gaze. She was surprised they had avoided this conversation for a whole day since she arrived, but Sister Mary Margaret had been beside herself to see Emma yesterday and had asked no questions, which had suited Emma fine.

"I've, um…well I've been sort-of freelancing."

"Freelancing? As what, dear?"

"Well, I sort-of find people who are missing."

"Oh! Like a detective!" Sister Mary Margaret's eyes lit up with the notion that Emma was a real-life Nancy Drew. Emma repressed a snort.

"Not exactly. More like a bounty hunter."

"A…a bounty hunter? Is that legal?"

"Of course! I track down criminals!"

"Oh! Well, then…that's very noble. I'm so proud of you." She reached over and squeezed Emma's hand where it rested on the table. Emma resisted sighing with difficulty.

"And you? How have things been around here?"

"Oh, you know. It's been such a difficult time for the community. There are so many in need right now with the economy being what it is and everything. We do the best we can to help, but there is much more that needs to be done."

Father David swallowed a mouthful of tomato soup and interjected quickly, giving Emma a break. She shot him a grateful smile, "Actually, Sister, I have some wonderful news. Emma has returned home partly because she wants to become involved with the mission."

Emma's neck nearly snapped in two she whipped her head up from her sandwich so quickly. She allowed her mouthful of food to become visible to them both as her jaw dropped.

Sister Mary Margaret's eyes swam with tears as she clasped her hands in front of her and looked at Emma with such hope shining in her eyes that Emma could not stand to disappoint her. She noticed that Father David was looking at her with a sheepish, hopeful look as well and suddenly realized – he hadn't told her. Flushing with shame, Emma gave a shaky, lopsided smile and nodded.

Sister Mary Margaret jumped up from the table and ran over to pull Emma to her feet and into a bone-crushing hug. Emma awkwardly patted her back as Father David smiled gratefully at her.

Luckily, at that moment, Sister Astrid buzzed into the room carrying the cordless phone from the foyer with her. "Sister Mary Margaret, there's a call for you. Although, if this is a bad time…"

Emma quickly said, "Oh no, that's fine. We were just finishing up lunch. Actually, I should go and uh…unpack."

Sister Mary Margaret squeezed her hand and said, "Well, if you're sure."

Emma nodded and smiled again as Sister Mary Margaret took the phone and left the room.

Emma turned on Father David at once. "You didn't tell her?"

"No."

"But, I thought…"

Father David sighed, "Look, Emma. I know that the circumstances of you coming back were…less than ideal. But I also know that she has been waiting to see you walk through that door for about seven years. And there is no reason to bring up what's in the past."

He stood now and lifted her chin so that she looked him in the eye. "It's good to have you home."

Emma averted her gaze and said, "Thank you."

Before anything more could be said, Sister Mary Margaret bustled back into the room looking for all the world like Christmas had come early. "The most wonderful thing has happened."

"What's that, Sister?" Father David smiled affectionately at her buzzing enthusiasm.

"That was the young postulant from our favorite parish." She exchanged a significant look with Father David. "They are looking to expand their community outreach and she wants my guidance. I told her I could do one better – I could bring my very best little volunteer." She beamed at Emma who swallowed quickly.

"Um…what?"

"Well you said you wanted to be involved in serving the community – what could be more important than bringing God's love to the people by working to serve the poor? I told her we'd be there tomorrow to get started."

Emma felt that her jaw had become unhinged for the second time in less than an hour. "Well, I…"

"That's wonderful!" Father David interrupted, putting his arm around Emma's shoulders, "We all have so much to be _grateful_ for. Perhaps it is time that we begin to _repay our debts_. After all, a promise is a promise." He gave Emma a pointed look.

Sister Mary Margaret was practically hopping up and down, "It's so true. Oh my, there's so much to do. I must revise our current procedures, prepare a schematic, perhaps I should bake something to bring along…do you suppose they like pumpkin bread?"

Father David chuckled and said, "That sounds splendid. If you don't mind, I'd like a moment with Emma. Why don't you get started and I'll send Emma along to join you shortly?"

Sister Mary Margaret bounced out of the room and Emma turned on him, "Why?" she dragged the whine out, flopping her head back dramatically.

Father David was unperturbed as he replied, "Because you agreed to community service when you came back here. Because this is an opportunity to rebuild your relationship with Sister Mary Margaret. And because St. Ursula's has never before sought to do something for the community and I think we should support them."

Emma felt as though she might faint.

"Emma, are you ok? You got very pale all of the sudden."

"St. Ursula's?"

"Yes, I'm sure that's what Sister Mary Margaret meant. We've never enjoyed a very positive relationship with them. They are more ambitious than charitable, I…what is it? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"I'm fine." Emma barely whispered the words as her mind reeled. "Just…just tired. I think I'll lie down for a while."

Father David looked after her worriedly but let her go without further protest. When she reached her room, which looked exactly as it had when she left nearly seven years before, she sank onto her bed and buried her head in her hands.

St. Ursula's. Since she had returned to town she had rigidly avoided coming within five miles. She was terrified that if she went near she might see him. And now she would be entering the parish itself.

Of course, there was no way to know whether he would still be there. For all she knew, her son had long since been adopted or fostered out or…as her lunch struggled to make a reappearance she curled up on her side and pictured a tuft of brown hair poking out of a white blanket.

There was no reason to believe he would still be there and even if he was, there was no way she would recognize him. He would be five now. She had marked his birthday each year by forcing herself to imagine what he would look like now. She imagined each milestone; when he would have started walking and talking, his first temper tantrum, and his first day of school. She imagined him being loved and hugged and kissed by a nameless, faceless parent and she choked on a sob. Unconsciously, she drew the blanket up to cover the bottom half of her face, a habit she had developed as a scared child. She realized she had done it and wondered if he did the same. Unable to stop it now, she allowed the tears to come until she fell into a fitful sleep.

**A/N: Please review? **


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